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Roshtein - Forum

My Story

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Hello, so I am a long time viewer of TrainwrecksTV and recently I have started watching Rosh, I started gambling about 3 or 4 years ago, I would say 2 and a half and at first I was doing small bets, the smallest you can obviously, I was 18ish around then, first job, not a whole lot of money and I was in general scared to bet big, because I had this feeling of "oh god this is a lot of money", unfortunately as many people I progressed and got over that so I went from the smallest bets to 2 or 3 or 5 euro bets on slots, which for me is a lot especially at that point. I had one good win, where I deposited 50 euros and snuck out a whopping 700 euros, haha maybe nothing special for most people, but it was my first big profit from a casino.


After that I had gotten involved in some real life activities and I stopped thinking about gambling, I had just forgotten about it, unfortunately again, eventually it was winter, it got cold, I stayed home more and I went back to gambling that is the first time where I lost all the money I had in my card and I was mentally destroyed, I couldn't believe what I had just done, I was done with gambling and so I did. I stopped for about 1 year, I'd say maybe it was less. I had deactivated all the accounts I had on online casinos and I started getting money from my monthly salary, stacking it up in my card, etc., etc., and at one point I had around 10k euros in my account, I had worked basically a whole year for that money (of course, I had been spending on food, clothes, etc., so I had saved approx. 10k a little bit less), long story short to not make this too long, I am right now sitting at the whopping 4,97euro balance in my account, and today I lost over 2k euros alone. 


I had some nice wins on Crazy Time I won 3600 euros on pachinko with a 15x multiplier before the round started, and I was like holy shit, it could have been better if it hit the multiplier which was next to what I got, 1500x next to the one I got, but I was nevertheless happy about it. Then next day I went to a casino where I had spent nearly 500 euros of straight L's and I deposited another 100, of course it went to shit and I lost it. So I had 50 euro bonus which I had to wager over 2k to be able to withdraw any winnings of it, I was kind of upset at that point and I was like how the fuck am I gonna wager over 2k with 50 euros? What happened? I wagered it, I ended up at 1300 euros balance right as I wagered the 2k, did I withdraw it you ask? No, I went to play Crazy Time and that's where my problems started. I lost it all, and I was so sad and upset that I lost another 1300 of my own money on top of that. I was literally dead inside that day, I had to go to work the next day, and I called in to say I'll be taking 1 day off because I was not feeling okay and I really wasn't. So you would think I stopped? No. I literally lost every single penny I had in my account, today I got paid my monthly salary and I left it all in the casino. I have money in cash at home, I spent 600 euros from them on Baccarat all-in bets first one 360, I lost. Second one 300, and I lost again, and at that point I stopped.

Right now, I have no money in my card, I still have money to be able to live and not worry about what I'm gonna eat tomorrow, but if I don't quit today, maybe I won't have money to eat tomorrow. This is my story and I hope this is the ending of it, only someone who has experienced gambling addiction like I am currently will probably understand me. Making stupid decisions, even though you know the result is not gonna be good, but you still go and do it. I know I won't win all the money I lost back, it is technically impossible, because I don't have the money to make it happen, if I had another 20k, maybe I could somehow make 10k back (more not counting the wins from Crazy Time and other wins I got along the way), 10k raw balance from my credit card that I worked for at an actual job not winnings from gambling. I lost it all, and the more I get upset about it, I realize it's my fault and that I need to quit, but sometimes I give in and I can't stop. Today I told myself this is the last time. So, I really hope this is my last time. This is my story, I am addicted to gambling and I feel terrible about it, not only because I'm losing so much money (for my standarts), but because I am letting other people down, I could have bought so much things and gave away to family and friends, bought stuff for myself, yet I gave it all to the worst form of entertainment which is gambling. Please, if you read this do not gamble, I thought I could never be addicted to anything, I don't do any drugs, I don't drink alcohol at all, I don't smoke, but I am addicted to gambling. My co-worker told me, you are getting addicted, stop and I was thinking to myself, I am not addicted, I can stop at any time that I want, but he is right I am addicted and I was in denial, please do not gamble, it is a scary thing, it's all nice when you win, it is even nicer if you win and you stop FOREVER. Just don't get involved with it, there are so many ways to make money if you get creative and even if you just work, don't gamble and hopefully this was really my last time. Just watch Rosh and Train, I have an easier time not gambling when I watch Rosh specifically, but for each their own, just don't do it. 

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take this from someone who’s walked in your shoes. If I could go back in time and give myself advice this is what I would say.

You are at a cross roads. Right now you’ve lost a good chunk of money and it hurts, I know. You’ll keep thinking to yourself that all you need is one good heater to dig yourself out of your hole, and maybe you’re in a position where you think that gambling itself is the only way for you to fill the hole you’ve dug for yourself.

believe me, this hole has no end. There is no limit to how deep it will let you dig your own financial grave. And it ALWAYS starts the same. “Oh I’ll just gamble for £20” and ends with a broke bank balance, sometimes with bills left for the month.

If you continue, you will start taking loans, you will begin using credit cards and you will lose it all. In the end you be emotionally alone, ashamed and never at peace. You will ask your parents and friend for money, you will become a liar making up stories on why you’re broke this month. You will debase your honour, you will become weak, you will become everything you hate and you will need to see it every day in the mirror.

the worst part is this, even if you ever managed to win back all your losses, you will just end up playing it back to the casino. And you will sink deeper into the hole because now you saw that IT COULD happen. 

Even in the case that you had the mental resolve to take your recouped losses and walk away, the entire casino industry is built to screw you over if you ever win big. They will throw terms and conditions at you, delay your pay out, limit the withdrawal amount and drive you insane, because they know that if they upset you enough you will relapse.

Lawyers will tell you that even if the casino scammed you for £50.000, litigation will probably cost you £150k before you even see court. And if you lose, you will need to pay the casinos legal fees. The license provider (MGA) will not help you, Streamers will not help you. 

you wanna become rich? Save your money monthly in an index fund and watch it grow instead. 

forget what you’ve lost. Dedicate yourself to a productive endeavour, improve yourself and climb the corporate or entrepreneurial ladder, find productive ways of investing your money and forget this wretched cesspool.

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